I am 25 years old, and I am sat here on my laptop in the middle of the night, crying. Over what, you might wonder…a breakup, grief, the state of the world? No, I’m 25 and I’m crying over Haribo. Yes, the little starmix sweets.
Tonight has been a disappointing one, and it’s been part of a long line of disappointments over the past year. As I scrolled through Instagram before going to sleep (I know, I know), I had a quick look on my blog’s feed – which is predominantly made up of posts from the allergy community – and came across a story from @allergy_mummaandbubba warning people about a change in Haribo Starmix warnings. It included a link to a blog from coeliacsanctuary.co.uk, which explained that this product is now produced in two different factories – one in Germany, and one in the UK – which has resulted in some packets of Starmix being at risk for milk and wheat traces. These packets now have ‘may contain traces of milk, wheat’ on the label, but as you may know – the ingredients on Haribo Starmix are already challenging to read so this is one that can be SO easily missed. Now, I’ve never come across this particular problem before – normally, products are either discontinued or the ingredients change entirely and become unsafe. This particular scenario of the SAME product having two indistinguishable variations is brand new - and quite frankly, in my eyes, unacceptable. Furthermore, there is nothing about this on their website - their ingredients list mentions nothing. Their FAQs state that their UK range do not contain milk or dairy-based ingredients. When I found one of these new packets, I realised just how easy it would have been to miss the new warning - I've included a photo of it down below. The only reason it was noticeable was because an egg sweet happened to be behind the lettering. This is unacceptable, and a highly dangerous labelling practice.
I was – and still am – fuming. I know it may seem utterly ridiculous to be so cross and upset about some sweets, but for me – it adds a whole new layer of complexity to an already fairly complex life. I have a chronic illness* that means that, sometimes, I have problems with my energy levels and will need quick access to some sugar to help bring me up a bit. I rely on these Haribo Starmix – and have a packet in my bag pretty much at all times, should I need it. It’s also great because it’s so easily accessible in shops – if I’ve run out, I can get a friend to dash to a vending machine or WHSmiths to get me a packet without any worry about them having to rifle through different products to find something safe for me. It just works. Now, if I need to grab a pack on the go, it’s constantly going to be a thing – is it going to be a safe packet or an unsafe packet? My day-to-day life already requires me to think about several different moving parts just to be safe – and this is adding a new moving part. It’s exhausting.
It will be fine, and I will just stock up on the safe packs or find some new sweets that are safe and work for me, but that honestly isn’t the point. The point is that I am repeatedly finding myself in situations where my safe products are either discontinued or changed. I found myself broken tonight as a result of built-up disappointment that has been growing and growing over the last year. The frustration and feelings of unfairness and sadness just keep getting compounded. Last year, NOMO (Kinnerton) discontinued their dark chocolate range – and this completely devastated me. It sounds really daft, but when you have a limited selection of safe foods – and fun ones at that, like chocolate - and one of them disappears? It just knocks you down. The NOMO/Kinnerton dark chocolate was my staple ever since I was tiny – back when they were really the only chocolate brand that was free from dairy, eggs, nuts and peanuts. In the years since then, various free-from brands have popped up and either not been safe or I’ve not been brave enough to try them - because I cannot tell you the amount of mental energy it takes me to try a new product. Even when NOMO brought out all sorts of exciting new types of chocolate – ones that I was dying to try – my fear surrounding the inclusion of shea butter/oil into the ingredients overrode my desire for something new and fun. I’d heard or read years ago that shea products weren’t safe for nut allergy sufferers, and it’s stuck in my brain. I will get over it – but like I said, it takes mental energy and capacity that I often just do not have. So when it became harder and harder to find the plain and simple dark chocolate (which tasted amazing anyway), I got worried. After contacting NOMO, I found out that they were discontinuing the line. I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was to take in and process, and the level of sadness and frustration I felt. Not just at losing an enjoyable product, but at the expense it was going to have on me mentally. Food and ease is something that can be taken for granted – this was my easy no-anxiety-necessary treat that was a big part of my life, and it had just been taken away. I stockpiled every last NOMO until they all went out of date in January this year, and had that last bar with a bit of a heavy feeling. Now, I’ve started using Cocoa Libre which is lovely, but it did require mental energy and it’s still not quite the same.
Adding to the disappointment, I found out in December that my all-time favourite American free-from brand, ‘Enjoy Life’, had discontinued their entire baked goods range. All of their cookies that I had loved ever since I found them 15+ years ago. This had been the only brand that I could – again – freely and safely eat everything in their range, and get to enjoy just eating different cookies. Fun cookies! In the UK, especially back then, I could only have maybe rich teas or digestives. No, these were chocolate chip cookies, double chocolate cookies, sugar cookies, snickerdoodles…the list goes on. I couldn’t ever have these in the UK from a shop – it always required baking them ourselves, which is fine, but much more hassle. I loved the convenience of these cookies – or at least the idea of the convenience – we could only ever bring back a couple of boxes but every time I’ve ever gone to the US, I have made a point of getting some to enjoy whilst I was there and some to take home with me. So when I booked a trip to see one of my close friends in Virginia, the prospect of ordering some of my absolute favourite cookies was beyond exciting. Except, when I went to order, they were nowhere to be found on the website. My heart genuinely dropped, and I quickly did some investigating to find that the company – originally founded on the basis of health needs – had been bought by Mondelez a number of years ago. This enormous company had decided to shut down the facility that made the baked goods range, and stick with just their lentil crisps.
Devastated doesn’t actually cover how I was feeling. The pure joy – that I SO rarely find in food – was taken away. I broke down in tears, feeling utterly ridiculous. But, as well as feeling ridiculous, I just felt angry.
Again, that disappointment and frustration intensified when I realised that my only safe chocolate ice cream – Swedish Glace – appears to have been discontinued; it still shows as a listed product but is out of stock everywhere and has been for months. And this isn’t a situation where there is an alternative that I’ve just been too anxious to try, I’ve searched high and low. There is no other chocolate ice cream in the UK that is free from dairy, eggs, nuts and peanuts, that does not have any ‘may contains’ or the like and isn’t part of a brand with lots of nutty ice cream options in their range. I'm exhausted.
There are two things to note. Firstly, I appreciate that these are very much First World Problems. I do have access to safe food, and outside of medical things, I have a lovely life. Secondly, I’m not trying to be whiny here. I am trying to demonstrate all of the different little cogs of what it means to have multiple severe allergies, and what it means to be able to access not just safe food – but fun safe food. It isn’t really okay that my allergies results in a less enjoyable food experience than my peers. Why should I only have access to food that’s safe but boring or functional? I ought to be able to have access to a full range of foods and be able to pick and choose what I like, not be constrained to just one or two choices - if any. Large food companies need to understand how impactful their decisions are - it isn’t merely a business decision to make these choices. They need to incorporate the needs and desires of allergic individuals into their planning because we matter. We matter just the same as our non-allergic peers. It isn’t enough just to adhere to rules and regulations for fear of lawsuits. It isn’t enough to only care when a disaster happens. Food companies need to be proactive in their efforts to make the world safer and more accessible for allergic individuals.
Yes, we have our own responsibilities when it comes to making decisions about what we eat. Yes, the amount of time spent reading labels has probably amassed a number of hours in total – from checking at the supermarket, to double-checking as we put it away, to triple-checking before eating or using it. But there is only so much we can do. At the end of the day, our lives are in the hands of the food companies – both our quality of life and the presence of our life.
We are ready and waiting for change. Food industry - your move.
*As kind as your intentions may be, I have lots of advice and medical support throughout this process, so please do not send me any suggestions of what it could be. Thank you for understanding!
I felt this blog entirely. With the exact same brands for different reasons. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and to feel sad and angry is not daft! We should expect allergy friendly brands to understand the allergy community. Thank you for opening up.