When I was younger, I never knew how much I needed representation. It never even occurred to me, and I don’t think I even knew it could be a thing.
I’m British but I’m not white/Caucasian. I’m half-white, but I definitely don’t look it. I don’t speak English in an accent; I speak English just the way my friends do, seeing as I’ve lived here since I was 5 years old. I can’t speak more than a word or two (literally) of Cantonese or Mandarin.
I’ve grown up in an area that is predominantly white/Caucasian, and all the schools I’ve been to here have been the same. When I was little, I was only aware of the fact that I actually looked different to most of my classmates a couple of times – once, when I thought my skin colour was ‘green’ compared to my friends’, and when the ‘Chinese, Japanese...’ song made its way around the playground. Now, I know, that I’m olive-skinned and I’m not the weird kid with green skin. I also understand that my discomfort when that ‘joke’ was made in front of me was valid and not irrational. I was actually very lucky in my experience – I didn’t encounter racism to the point of being physically hurt or repeated racism, ever. What I’m writing about has nothing to do with me feeling sorry for myself or grasping for sympathy – because I don’t want or need it.
My experience of growing up has been quintessentially British. My childhood was stereotypically British and much the same as my friends. The majority of the media I was being influenced by and was utterly in love with was programmes and films with casts comprising of white actors/actresses or black actors/actresses. I want to state, before anyone might jump to conclusions, that I strongly believe that the representation of black actors/actresses and other races is so unbelievably important. This has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with taking away their representation or diminishing its importance and significance. Neither am I saying that just because I saw, in general, a higher number of a black actors/actresses/presenters (and those of other races) on my screen than my own, that the issue of representation for them is not valid. All I’m saying, is that I didn’t see me.
When I did see me, it’s often been in a ‘stereotypical’ Chinese or East Asian role, or the character often wasn’t the lead role – they were the ‘best friend’ or ‘one of the sidekicks’. Not only this, but I felt like their race was made to be a thing. They were being shown to be different to those around them. This isn’t me saying that Chinese or East Asian culture should be ignored; this is me saying that it’s an important thing for people to gain an understanding of, but it’s also not the culture of every single Chinese or East Asian person. I didn't grow up in entirely Chinese culture, so I didn’t particularly identify with these characters where it seemed as though it was entirely central to who they were and what they liked. Don't get me wrong - Chinese tradition has always been a part of my life, from Chinese New Year celebrations to visiting Hong Kong. And I'm proud to be Chinese; to be born into being part of two different cultures is special, and I wouldn't change it for the world. However, my point is that there are so many variations of characters that are white with different personalities and different morals and different upbringings, yet, there are only a few different types of characters that are Chinese/East Asian/Mixed Race. I just didn’t see me.
As I said at the very beginning, I wasn’t actually aware of this. I never particularly thought about it until I was older and I started to realise I was different to most of my friends, and as a result of the focus on representation in the media which has been increasingly discussed on social media platforms. I realised that everyone was talking about representation and how important that is. And I realised I hadn’t considered it.
I grew up with fantastic role models that really have shaped who I am. But up until this year, they were all white. I don’t have a problem with the fact that my role models have been white – it has nothing to do with why I admire them. It’s had to do with what they believe in, the way they carry themselves, their ability to start meaningful discussions about things that I find important, their skills and talent, their sense of humour, their positivity, and often, their style. They’ve all played an enormous part in making me who I am today, and I’ll never be able to thank them enough for that. And all of what I just said about what makes someone my role model still stands. However, there is something so…cool…about seeing someone who looks like you be just as successful, liked, recognised, and appreciated in the media as white people. Both in films/TV and on social media.
So, what prompted this? Why have I been motivated to write about this?
On Friday 17th August 2018, a new film called ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’ was released on Netflix starring Lana Condor, Noah Centineo, Janel Parrish, Anna Cathcart and many more fantastic actors and actresses. For me, this was the first time ever I had seen a film have an East-Asian female teen as its lead with its plot not being rooted in race at all. This is a rom-com, relatable for most teenage girls regardless of race, in a typical warm and fuzzy kind of way. Just like any other rom-com, you feel for the characters and get way too emotionally involved in the slightly unrealistic fairy-tale romance. Lara Jean Covey, played by Lana Condor (an actual legend), is our main character – a High School junior with a love for the perfect romance story and five crushes she’s written secret letters to telling them her feelings. Note: secret love letters. That’s until, they all get sent out mysteriously, and Lara Jean is faced with these boys knowing everything she ever felt about them (I don’t think I’d ever be able to leave my room if that ever happened to me). It’s a really good film, and I’m not doing it any justice so here’s the trailer, and an interview with the incredible Lana Condor.
What I’m really trying to say, is that this film and its representation is so incredibly important. For that reason, I’m asking everyone who has Netflix to watch it and show all the ‘higher-ups’ that this representation is making a difference, and it matters. And most importantly, that we need more of it. Because for the first time, I got to see me. And I can’t be the only one. There are little girls just like myself when I was younger who I want to be able to see themselves in the media in a whole range of different characters from an early age. It’s going to help them realise that they can have a meaningful place in the world.
If you don't know the 'Chinese, Japanese...' song I referenced, here's a little explanation:
https://atlantablackstar.com/2015/08/20/12-childhood-nursery-rhymes-you-didnt-realize-were-racist/4/
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